What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This house was built for laser tag.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can you bring me the toilet please
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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