So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
that is very illegal...i love you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
