Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
