I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
