Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
