"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize