is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
