Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
