Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
PANTIES FOUND
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