Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
