# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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