Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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