he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
