That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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