I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
