in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
