Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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