I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
