i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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