the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
