she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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