will power is for people who don't want to get laid
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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