Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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