Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
