We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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