Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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