Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
