My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize