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in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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