i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
