Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
