I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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