At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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