the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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