The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
