so explain again why im purple
no
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
