but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
