I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
