OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
