dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
