Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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