Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
