just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
