You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize