We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
