Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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