The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
