Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
