You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
