i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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