summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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