this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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