Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
