I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
