Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
