I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
