i just had sex bonerless
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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