Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
