dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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