So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize