Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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